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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?